A single woman’s guide to becoming a mum with donor sperm
There are many reasons why women might still be childless in their late thirties or later. Sometimes it’s by choice, but this isn’t always the case. Often, it’s simply because they haven’t yet found the right partner, you know, this great and trustworthy guy who isn’t afraid of commitment and who’ll be the best dad ever. Others are waiting to be financially stable enough to offer anything and everything that their child might need. However, what with studying, travelling the world and committing to a demanding career, today’s women often find that they have neither the money nor the time to raise a child until later on in life. In the end, many only feel emotionally and financially ready once they reach their late thirties, or even after.
However, no matter what, our biological clocks keep ticking away regardless. Fertility declines quickly from the age of 35 onwards, and the longer we wait the harder it becomes to conceive.
That’s why more and more single women are choosing to have baby on their own, before it’s too late. Although this is actually the preferred option for some, many women are forced to come to terms with the idea of not having their child with a significant other. Although this may be a hard pill to swallow, the urge to bring a life into the world provides them with the conviction that they need.
Finding alternative ways to start their family becomes necessary for these aspiring mums. Sperm donation is one of the solutions available to single women.
On finding a sperm donor to finally become a mum
One of the first options that couples and single women consider is looking for a sperm donor at a sperm bank or fertility clinic. However, perhaps you’ve heard that many fertility clinics are struggling with a shortage of sperm donors in Australia. Aspiring parents are sometimes required to wait for months or even years before being able to receive their donation. Unfortunately, most women over the age of 35 don’t really have the time to wait.
So, whether there is a long waiting list or you live in a remote area, you might be wondering ‘where can I find a sperm bank near me that actually has a stock of sperm?’ Well, today, a solution is to look for a sperm donor online, via platforms and forums that connect aspiring parents to known sperm donors or even through Facebook, Reddit or other social media networks. There are many alternatives to the traditional ways of finding donor sperm. Looking online provides the opportunity to benefit from a wide selection of private donors living in your area, or even from the other side of the world.
This option also allows you to communicate directly with your donor in order to ensure that they are a good match and fit all of your criteria. Additionally, it’s essential to make sure that they agree with your conditions and share the same expectations as you regarding the donation.
Furthermore, it’s imperative to know that, contrary to sperm donors from sperm banks, those found on social media and online platforms do not necessarily undergo medical and fertility tests. Not only do single women need to make sure that their donor’s sperm is of excellent quality, they also need to be certain that he is free of any sexually transmitted diseases, infections or genetic conditions. Asking the sperm donor to provide you with documents proving that they’re in good health is a necessity before making further arrangements.
Co-Parenting with the sperm donor?
A growing number of single women and LGBTQ couples (as well as some opposite-sex couples) are choosing to co-parent with their sperm donor. This arrangement means that the donor is the legal father of the child and will share all parental rights with you. If you choose to co-parent with your donor, writing a co-parenting agreement outlining each parents’ intentions, as well as their rights and responsibilities towards the chid, is highly recommended.
Getting pregnant with donor sperm
There are several options for single women looking to get pregnant with donor sperm. Obviously, once you’ve found your sperm donor and got all the necessary documents in order, the first thing to do is to collect the sperm sample. You can have it sent to your house or your clinic by post. The donor can also provide you with fresh semen at your own home, or in a hotel room. Another idea is to collect it from their place and bring it back to yours.
What happens next depends on your fertility and your preferences. Some single women go DIY and prefer to perform the insemination themselves, in their own home, using a syringe or a baster, for example. This is a good, cheap option for those with no fertility issues and who want to stay somewhere where they feel comfortable. Alternatively, you can choose to have the donor insemination (intrauterine insemination or IUI) performed in a clinic by medical staff.
If you have fertility issues, you’re over the age of 35-40, or you’re still not pregnant after several IUI cycles, you might opt instead for IVF, which has a higher success rate than artificial insemination. In this case, the fertility treatment will be performed in a clinic by professionals. In short, in vitro fertilisation involves removing a woman’s eggs via a minor operation in order to fertilise them with sperm in a laboratory. A few days later, the resultant embryos are transferred into the womb.
Now, the last thing to do is to wait for two weeks to see if pregnancy has occurred. Fingers crossed!